Some links and an arm twisting

So here’s a few links I came across pertinent to bisexuality, pansexuality, interesting stuff, etc.

But first – a desperate plea for submissions.

A shout out to you.

Yeah, you.

You know who you are. You heard about this blog at a party, or looked it up once, or saw a rant on facebook about it, or heard a rumor that someone was doing a blog for bi / pan / people who don’t care / people who aren’t straight or gay or don’t know or don’t give a crap / fluid people / etc, or I got in your face somewhere, or you overheard a conversation or something, and you thought about sending in a submission.

And you’re still thinking about it, and I don’t have your post.

So listen.

When I started this thing, I had three main ideas: the first was that I was sick of being erased, made invisible, and otherwise ignored, the second was that I wanted some kind of community or communities in which I could find some semblance of belonging, and the third was that no one was gonna do it for me so I’d better try.

And somewhere in there, too, was a hope that before someone in some isolated area, who doesn’t know any other people who might be described as bi, pan, or otherwise not-straight-and-not-gay, say, offs themselves, they might use google, they might find this blog, and they might be at least somewhat comforted to know that Yes There Are Others, that, truly, We Exist. I have been there, friends. It’s a nasty place. It would be cool if, bit by bit, we created less nasty, empty space, and more space of belonging, even if we only know each other by our anonymous internet handles, even. It’s a start.

Another aspect is that this is not Cha-Cha’s blog. I have a plan for that – this is not it. I don’t WANT to write endlessly about my own life, here – happy to share experiences around my sexual orientation, but this blog is not me, it’s not my politics, it’s not just people who are Just Like Me or Agree With Cha-Cha On Things, etc. It’s OUR stories – and we are many, and multiple. That’s the idea.

That multiplicity is what’s going to convey to that kid, who I once resembled, out there in the world, that WE exist – not just Cha-Cha, but a whole, diverse, crapload of us.
I cannot do this without your words, your pictures, your stories. I’m asking for your help.

If you’re worried your writing skills aren’t that great, know that (a) they are probably better than you think they are, and (b) that some of us aren’t great at writing, and we also are part of the We that Exists. (Some of us, like me, are not good at adding, or telling right from left. And that’s just two of the many things that make the community of Fluidly Sexual / Bi / Pan / + people diverse – I have heard that some of us, in this community, can do math. I salute you. Please write about it someday coz lord knows I can’t.)

If you don’t want to be known, not even to me, please know that it is very easy to set up a fake gmail or hotmail or yahoo or hushmail account and send me your story completely frickin anonymously. Also a detailed privacy policy is in the “About” section under the “About” tab at the top of the page. (Hushmail is encrypted e-mail. Believing that I can hack into anything and retrieve your true identity gives me waaaay too much credit, but hushmail will also stop those with considerably more skills than I have, if you are concerned.)

If you don’t know or aren’t sure how you identify, tell us about it. We want to hear from you.

If you don’t particularly feel a need to tell your story, that is 100% cool and valid. And at the same time: if you feel moved to do so anyway, please know that your story could really be of help to someone reading this. Please know that if you think you are “different” from me in some way, and therefore wonder if I want to hear from you, that this is more valuable, and makes your story more necessary, because I can already tell mine but I can’t tell yours. Someone may relate to you in ways that they will never relate to me- pretty much almost definitely. Please do not underestimate your own potential importance to some reader you may never meet.

This sounds melodramatic, but I have cause to believe that it’s not: when you tell your story, you might just save someone. Madonna probably doesn’t realize what her lyrics meant to me as a teenager. But they did save me – and your words, too, have that potential.


So if that rant worked on any of you, and you feel moved… send me something., okay? Short, long, whatevs. Talk to me. Or talk to that kid you don’t know, who, somewhere out there, is listening.

Thanks, peoples.

And now, a quick link roundup:

Meg Barker, senior lecturer at the Open University, and other researchers have released The Bisexuality Report: Bisexual inclusion in LGBT Equality and Diversity. The focus of the report is primarily the United Kingdom.

Primary findings include the following:

● Bisexual people’s experiences differ in important ways from those
of heterosexual people, and from those of lesbian and gay people.

● Biphobia is distinct from homophobia.

● Bisexual people often face discrimination and prejudice from within
heterosexual, and lesbian and gay, communities. This can be
obscured by LGBT amalgamation.

● Bisexual populations have significantly higher levels of distress and
mental health difficulties than equivalent heterosexual or lesbian/
gay populations.

The report is beefy. Information on the report can be found HERE and HERE.

Full report can be downloaded HERE.

Thanks to Ksenia for the hookup 🙂


Disability Studies Quarterly has a neat paper called We Exist: Intersectional In/Visibility In Bisexuality & Disability. 

From the abstract:

The intersection of theories of disability and bisexuality is unexplored, yet both are identities rendered in/visible by paternalistic environments where individual and political identities are defined by oppositional binaries and vulnerable to compulsory citizenship. The development of such identities can be better understood by using a bisexual approach to inform theories of disability and a disability approach to inform theories of sexuality inclusive of bisexuality. 

See the whole thing HERE.

Last one: did you all know about Empty Closets? Because I didn’t, and I wish I had. Seems to be an online forum for reaching out and connecting to others who aren’t straight online, without necessarily having to out yourself to everyone in the whole world, and while being able to talk to people beyond your immediate community. Seems that there are also people who seek support around being trans and coming out trans. Not sure how much support bi / pan / fluid people get, not sure how much support trans people get, but the idea is cool – anyone got any experiences?

That’s it for now.

PS – write me…


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