Guest post by Lauren: On the Corner of T Street and Avenue B

Lauren works as a case manager at a social service agency. She notes:

“Transgender is a big word towering over the various groups of transsexuals, cross-dressers, bois, drag kings and queens, genderqueer and many other tribes. From my own experience, I cannot speak for this vast multitude. I will speak of my experience as a post-transsexual woman.”

For those readers who are not familiar, ♂ is typically the symbol used for “male” sex, and ♀ used for “female” sex. Lauren adds: “I think we need more words for gender than just Male, Female, and Intersex.”

And now… Lauren’s amazing story:

On the Corner of T Street and Avenue B

It’s interesting being a member of two of the least understood letters in the alphabet soup community. I know of a couple who identify as pansexual and trans. One is ♂ to ♀and the other is ♀ to ♂. They have been asked “Why transition when you two can have sex anyway?”.

I have been asked “Why transition, you have sex with both men and women anyway?”. I am bisexual, and ♂ to ♀.

I did not have “gender reassignment surgery”. My gender cannot be changed. I had “sex reassignment surgery”. Biological sex can be changed. Let’s be clear about this: I have had sexual intercourse with both women and men as a male-bodied person. I have had sex with both women and men as a female-bodied person. But I always felt myself to be female, no matter what equipment I had. So why transition?

Because my gender was always female, even before my sex was female. I looked like a scary dangerous guy, but there was a very frightened little girl at the controls. I can only live in the world as a female person, and I had a great deal of physical dysphoria. Thus a physical change was necessary.

Because I stand on the corner of these two streets, I have been called many things. I am NOT “a very gay man who became a woman to have sex with men”. I am NOT “a suppressed lesbian”. I am NOT “confused”. I am NOT “a bi-curious woman”. I am NOT “a straight woman” as some in the trans community would like me to be (I’m currently dating a man who is also bi). I was born with a definite orientation, and that orientation IS bisexual.

I AM a bisexual woman.

It seems that there are still some on T street who would prefer that post-trans women marry men to show the world how “normal” we are. Are my boyfriend and I a straight couple? No, we are not. (Call me “normal” and you have insulted me.)

There are also some on Avenue B who don’t get the distinction between sex and gender. Female-bodied people can be men sometimes and male-bodied people can be women sometimes. Some of us take steps to correct the incongruity, spending a lot of money and emotional capital to do so. There are those who can live with a social transition, without undergoing physical transformation, and I accept that. But some unfortunate women cannot afford to correct their anatomy and some unfortunate men cannot afford to correct their anatomy, while their brains still contain the body-map of their gender, not their current sex. This leads to a physical dysphoria, which needs a physical solution.

I could blather on about the density of neurons in the BSTc section of the brain, but this is not a neurology lesson.

Standing on this corner, I seem to have a chance to educate people about two of those scary letters. Standing on this corner, I see the world from a very unique perspective. Standing on this corner, I also have a chance to be marginalized by both communities. Standing on this corner, some people see me as a dangerous monster. Standing on this corner, if certain people knew what I am, they would kill me.

Standing on this corner, I have a chance to show the world that these two letters cover some wonderful and loving people.

Advertisements

3 responses to “Guest post by Lauren: On the Corner of T Street and Avenue B

  1. Stephenie Smith

    Wonderful writing, dear. Write some more please.

    Stephenie

  2. “It’s interesting being a member of two of the least understood letters in the alphabet soup community. I know of a couple who identify as pansexual and trans. One is ♂ to ♀and the other is ♀ to ♂. They have been asked “Why transition when you two can have sex anyway?”.”

    Sounds like something I have been asked.

    😉

  3. What a wonderful post, thank you! I like how you said calling you normal would be insulting. We are so limited with what terms we are offered in the English dictionary, but we shouldn’t be limited to only be someone that is defined with current available vocabulary. That’s like telling a new species of animal that it cannot exist simply because we have not named it yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s