Guest Post by Lauren: In the Club…

Lauren is a case manager at a social service agency. She wants “to find places that will allow me to express the “B” in “LGBT” without being subsumed in either straight or lesbian spaces.  I wish to hold on to my queer identity even if I’m going out with a man, who also happens to be bi. (Are we a straight couple? Far from it!)”

 The following scene reflects one of Lauren’s experiences as a bi identified woman. 

 In a lesbian club:

 Woman: God, men are such pigs!  Don’t you hate them?

 Me: Umm, not all of them, there are a few nice ones around.  I’m bi, you know.

Woman: (rolls eyes) Oh, you bi girls are a heartbreak waiting to happen!

(maybe I should have kept my mouth shut?  or maybe not?)

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3 responses to “Guest Post by Lauren: In the Club…

  1. No, you should NOT have kept your mouth shut. She’s the one who should be asking herself that. We’re all sick of hearing this. Our sexuality is about far more than sex.

  2. “Our sexuality is about far more than sex.”

    Yep. This is something that I think happens to all queer people – ie, we get talked about as though we are sex-crazed maniacs who only think about sex all the time – but it happens to bi/pan/not-straight-not-gay folks in a particular way, where the mainstream world makes our sexuality “all about sex”, the lesbian / gay / mono-sexual queer world makes our sexuality “not real” (“you’re just confused, you don’t know what you want, etc) and both crowds make us out to be traitors.

    In various ways, this scene has happened to me A LOT. It’s sort of a bummer. On online dating forums like okcupid, a similar thing happens to my gut when I see ladies with profiles that say “gay girls ONLY.” I’m sort of like, well, that’s certainly your right, and thanks for being up front and not wasting my time, but… what exactly is your problem with girls like me, anyway?

  3. Oh, also related to this in the number of times I’ve heard, from mono-sexual / gay identifying folks, something along the lines of “bi people are too much drama” to be in a relationship with.

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